Dear Mickey
Since you are a messy bundle of feathers, I regret to inform you that through noon Friday you should keep your messes to a minimum. Thursday will be a designated cleaning day as our landlord will be inspecting our home Friday. Please do not bite at the landlord. Lunging is fine as long as he is not looking. I am in the process of making new toys for you. You will get one of them until you destroy the ones you have. Not all toys will be yours, as you know people are growing interested in their option to purchase a personalized toy.
I also feel I need to clear the air on the weather. Radcliff has enough sirens to alert us here in our home of a tornado. It is not only inappropriate for you to make these sounds during a severe weather outbreak, but extremely exhausting. I am so glad you care, but save your breath please.
Now, understand this about me. I am blind as a bat. I wear glasses to make up for this. Without them, I cannot see. You, however, as a bird have a very keen sense of sight. You have no need for them. Do you know what this means? It means that I can keep my glasses on my face and you have no need to try to remove them...So stop! Don't forget, Cleaning day and inspection day. Be clean, be nice.
The Fleshy Bird
